We generally express affection the way wevwould like it expressed to us, but that is not necessarily the way our spouse likes it. Therefore, it is important to express to each other what it is that really communicates affection to you (this also applies to appreciation) so your spouse will know and it helps when you know what it is they like. I like playing the game of "I like it when....." and finishing the statement with something your spouse does or has done that really communicates affection to you. That keeps things positive vs. your coming off as complaining.
Remember that it is your responsibility to express appreciation and affection regardless of what your spouse is doing - it is best to refrain from judging their behavior at all and just look at what it is you are doing to create the relationship you want to have. It will take 100% of your doing what you can do to make that dream come true.
Treat each other as "precious"/ as "highly valuable" by intentionally sharing new information, expressing appreciation and affection consistently.