Happy are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Most reading this have never really been hungry or thirsty in the same sense as those who are without or have inadequate food for lengthy periods of time; however, we do know the sensation we refer to as being hungry or thirsty. We might even say, “I am starving!”  If you have been physically active in this southern heat, you likely know what it is to be thirsty.   When hungry or thirsty, nothing will do but food and drink.  A good song, a kind word, a massage or a ball game will just not satisfy when you are thirsty or hungry.  It is with that kind of urgency and focus that we are to go after righteousness.  That righteousness is manifested in the person of Jesus.
Romans 3:10 “There is no one righteous, not even one;
Is 64:6a  All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
Since none of us are good enough in and of ourselves - none of us are perfectly righteous; we are woefully inadequate and are in need of a Savior in order to experience forgiveness, self-acceptance and  eternity in Heaven.
John 10:10  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (in abundance)
Rom 5:17  For if, by the trespass of the one man (Adam), death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!
God sent His Son in order that we might have eternal life (John 3:16) and He wants us to have an abundant life spiritually even while here on earth as we anticipate heaven.
Albert Ellis and other behavioral health theorists and practitioners knew/know that we people are generally happier when vitally absorbed in something outside of ourselves – a creative interest and/or significant interpersonal involvement.  The Bible encourages us to be other-focused, but our tendency is to focus everything toward us (self-centered) vs. focused on the object of righteousness, Jesus.  Behavioral health practitioners encourage clients to be other focused as that tends to positively affect their outlook.  Behaving in a pro-social manner is certainly beneficial in itself, but it lacks the ultimate power as no matter how much one might try, none of us even live up to our own standards all the time.
Acts 4:12  Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.
Jesus is the only way to have that spiritual hunger and thirst satisfied.  We may try to satisfy it in other ways and may even fool ourselves into thinking we are satisfied, but at some point, we will be disappointed.
Hunger and thirst after righteousness.  This is a path to happiness.  We may not be happy about everything, but we can have a steadfast contentment and faith knowing that God is in control and loves us.  With this comes acceptance and peace.

Happy are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.  Meekness is often confused with weakness, but a gentle, self-controlled individual is generally admired.  Jesus encourages meekness with the promise of benefit here on earth – not just an after-life blessing.  Meekness implies submission to God as that submission will be most beneficial in one being able to manage one’s anger.

Meekness implies a calm spirit, one not easily provoked, not given to excessive/ unhealthy anger.  Proverbs 15:1 tells us that a soft or gentle answer turns away wrath – encourages peace, in other words.  So, one who is able to provide that soft answer would be considered meek.  A meek person maintains control of his/ her temper even in difficult circumstances.  A meek person is not week, but assertive when the situation calls for it.  They are not demanding or vengeful.  The payoff is more peace in one’s life and a calmness even in stormy situations which is only possible when one knows that there is a loving God in control regardless of how it may seem to us humans.
Ps 37:11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.  Our world certainly needs peace, calm, and cool heads.  This meekness pays off in that we have better relationships, comfort and better health.  Research has consistently shown that trait anger (those who are angry about many situations over the course of their lives) have more heart problems and die at earlier ages on average.

Ecc 7:8-9  The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Eph 4:31-32  31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 
Eph 4:29-32   29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
These exhortations are designed for our good.

The purpose of healthy anger is to motivate and energize us to address wrong behavior with a loving attitude – meaning that the action is intended for another’s good and the good of society.  What we do not have authority to do is take vengeance.
To help us respond to wrongs appropriately, ask the following questions:

1. Is this worth my energy?  Be careful who you seek out for consolation.  Venting is not helpful.  It often only reinforces the irrational, ungodly beliefs/ thoughts.  If it is not worth the energy, let it go and focus on doing something else while trusting God.  If it is, then…

1. What is the limit of my legitimate authority?Then….
2. What is the best course of action given that limited authority in light of my relationship with God?

(see posts on anger dated: 10/08/13; 10/20/13; 11/23/13; 01/20/16)

What? You are kidding, right?  Well, it does not seem right, but many “truths” tend to go against our natural perspective.
This is the second of the nine Beatitudes.  Happy are those who mourn for they will be comforted – Matt 5:4.

Behavior goes with emotion.  Emotions have purpose and, if nothing else, energizes and motivates behavior.  These “truths”, these beliefs, prompt healthy emotion; thus, healthy behavior.

Mourning is an individually unique process experienced within the context of one’s culture.  Mourning is a natural, normal emotional response to a loss.  The process of grieving is healthy in that one is able to place the loss in proper perspective and integrate that loss into their overall life experience/ journey.  Losses do not feel good, but feeling good in the short run is not necessarily the best for us.  It is in the long run that we may learn from, grow from and be able to appreciate life all the more.  This gracious mourning can lead to those blessings/ being happy or more contented as we expand our perspective.  When we lose someone important to us, who has poured into our lives, we can honor that memory by attempting to live out or provide for others that same blessing.  The ability to appreciate the meaning we derived from that relationship can motivate us to live well and even have greater compassion for others.

Inconsolable mourning is based on an untruth: belief that enough mourning will somehow make the loss return, not hurt or loose the importance and ignores that meaningful opportunities not only remain, but will emerge in the future.  Inconsolable mourning focuses on nothing other than the loss and ignores other aspects of our lives or future possibilities which can then lead to even more loss.

From a spiritual perspective, mourning is healthy when it prompts us to be remorseful regarding our own short-comings/ sin.  When we do something wrong, the proper response is to feel remorse which prompts the behavior of making restitution or at least apologizing.  When someone wrongs you, they apologize and you accept their apology; the relationship can be restored.  There was hurt experienced, but you are able to enjoy the relationship freely once again.  When we are in that remorseful posture with God, He has provided the way through his son, Jesus, for our relationship with God to be reconciled or restored such that we can enjoy that spiritual comfort of knowing that no matter our circumstances God loves us and that there will be an eternal, perfect comfort that is coming.

So, mourn well.  Experience the pain.  Allow the pain to motivate you to consider your spiritual condition, more fully appreciate life, and use your experiences to invest in others.  Then you will know how mourning can lead to happiness (satisfaction, contentment, meaning)!

Disclaimer:  Please remember that it is NOT my intention for this to be an exhaustive Biblical commentary or a full explanation on the topic from a behavioral health perspective.

We all long for direction, purpose and clear understanding about important life decisions and issues.  It seems to be rather inherent to desire to do something that makes a difference to someone.  We often confuse this drive with evidence of our self-worth, but the truth is our self-worth is more about our ability and responsibility to make choices that have the potential to benefit us.  In general, if we all were striving to make a positive difference in our world, we would all benefit.  When we want direction, we want it like the football stadium experience, but sometimes we get it more like the flashlight!

John 8:12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  (Context: Feast of Tabernacles where there were great lamps placed high in the temple courts tall enough to rise above the temple walls and illuminate the entire area.  This was a Fall feast commemorating the 40 years of wandering in the dessert and God’s provision and leading them out, so the festival focused on the blessings of the year.  Like with many celebrations there would be dancing and other activities into the night for which there would be light.)

Wisdom is the ability to apply knowledge and understanding.  We desire wisdom, because, the better choices that are made, the better outcomes that are realized – in more cases than not.  Proverbs 12:2 A good man will get favor from the Lord, but He will punish a man who makes sinful plans.  Good fortune and favor is definitely better than the alternative!

Let’s see what the Bible tells us about wisdom….
Job 28:28 And he said to the human race, “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
    and to shun evil is understanding.”
Ps 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.
Prov 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
So, it would seem that wisdom cannot be obtained through human effort, but only in the respect and reverence of God such that we are accepting of direction in His Word (Bible).  Knowledge and understanding then comes with our knowing the Word and being willing to follow His desires for us.
Proverbs 8:10-11 10 Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold,
11 for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.
Ecc 2:13 I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness.
Luke 21:15 For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.
Choosing wisdom – the fear of the Lord – is in our best interest! Wisdom is available to us for the asking!
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
 
When we sense a lack of purpose in life, we tend to get dissatisfied or even depressed.  Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy has long taught (Albert Ellis) that human being generally do better when we are vitally absorbed in something outside of ourselves.  As a social worker, I often recommend that people try to do for others as a way to bring greater meaning and satisfaction into one’s own life experience.
Many times, maybe most times, we want very specific guidance and may elect to sit back doing virtually nothing until that is revealed.  All of us have purpose in Christ.  Some easily identifiable purposes are evident in the Word.  Examples are as follows:
Eph 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (As long as He leaves us here on earth, He has something for us to do.)
Matt 25:40 The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Purpose: to do for others.)
Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Purpose: to be kind and compassionate and forgiving.)
1 John 4:11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (Purpose: Love our neighbor as ourselves.)
Matt 28:19-20a 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.
2 Tim 1:8a So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord... (Purpose: to talk about the Lord in whom we have our hope.)
Prov 12:22 The Lord hates lying lips, but those who speak the truth are His joy. (Purpose: to speak the truth.)
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (Purpose: allow others to see our vulnerabilities and pray for one another such that we can be positive support to each other.)

Summary of purposes can be found in this next scripture selection.
Col 3:12-17 12 God has chosen you. You are holy and loved by Him. Because of this, your new life should be full of loving-pity. You should be kind to others and have no pride. Be gentle and be willing to wait for others. 13 Try to understand other people. Forgive each other. If you have something against someone, forgive him. That is the way the Lord forgave you. 14 And to all these things, you must add love. Love holds everything and everybody together and makes all these good things perfect. 15 Let the peace of Christ have power over your hearts. You were chosen as a part of His body. Always be thankful.
16 Let the teaching of Christ and His words keep on living in you. These make your lives rich and full of wisdom. Keep on teaching and helping each other. Sing the Songs of David and the church songs and the songs of heaven with hearts full of thanks to God. 17 Whatever you say or do, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus. Give thanks to God the Father through the Lord Jesus.

For those of us who are children, spouses and/ or parents, here is some guidance. (Please do not get hung up on “obey”.  The generally accepted meaning here is that wives and husbands alike are to love and respect each other. If wives and husbands were both doing this, the relationship would be such that it would be beneficial to both individuals and too the children.)
Col 3:18-21 18 Wives, obey your husbands. This is what the Lord wants you to do. 19 Husbands, love your wives. Do not hold hard feelings against them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything. The Lord is pleased when you do. 21 Fathers, do not be so hard on your children that they will give up trying to do what is right.

So, let’s pray for wisdom and set our minds to following the light Jesus has given us through the Bible and allow his Holy Spirit to teach as we go and continually illuminate as He sees fit – maybe like the flashlight (a little at a time) and maybe like the football stadium (a bigger picture is revealed at once).  In any case, we have enough light to realize purpose.  More will be revealed as we live out and fulfill what has already been revealed!

What is it that drives us men?  We love to conquer!  To achieve!  To be admired by our women!  Do any of you recall those silly things you did as a kid, teenager or young adult to impress a girl? – okay maybe, we are still doing some of that!

We men do like for our ego massaged!  We want to feel powerful.  We want to achieve in our work.  We want to be competent and want to be seen by others as competent. We never seem to arrive, though.  We just keep striving.

Some of this is not so bad.  I am all for excellence in what you do and I still like to conquer and accomplish, but we have to be very careful not to link these desires (not needs) to our self-worth, because when we fail (and we will) and when we don’t get the admiration from our woman that we desire (and that will likely happen, too) or we get older and cannot do those things we used to do or we retire and loose that with which identified for so long; we can quickly find ourselves lacking confidence and thinking of ourselves and feeling basically worthless.  As long as things are going well or we have the admiration of our woman, we may not give it so much thought; but if we are honest with ourselves, we will likely admit that we have a thread of insecurity running through us.

Steve Harvey said, “But remember what drives a man; real men do what they have to do to make sure their people are taken care of, clothed, housed, and reasonably satisfied, and if they're doing anything less than that, they're not men.”

This is a high expectation.  If this is achievable, it does not often stay achieved.  Things will certainly change for us over the course of our lives.  We may find ourselves out of work, physically unable to do what we once could do, with dissatisfied people in our family where nothing is ever going to be good enough and if we have defined our self-worth based on all these being in place, then we are going to be in trouble – frustrated – depressed – certainly stressed.

ECC 2:21-23 21 For a person may labor with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then they must leave all they own to another who has not toiled for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22 What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? 23 All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless.

ECC 12:13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.

I am not sure we have done a good job within Behavioral Health to explain concepts of self-esteem and self-worth, because we often use them interchangeably as though they were the same thing and they are not.  Another word for “worth” is “value”.  So, the question becomes how am I valuable to myself?  How am I valuable to others?  We Christians desire to be valuable to others, right?  After all, the 2nd greatest commandment which is like unto the first is to love our neighbor as ourselves.  How we treat and what we do for others is an important way for us to demonstrate our love for God.  So, doing for our neighbor may be part of how we are valuable to ourselves, but it is not how we are valuable to ourselves.  Just because you love someone dearly and do for them in no way guarantees that they will treat you well in return – they might more often than not, but there is no guarantee.  They have choice in the matter.  People did not treat Jesus particularly well.  This can be discouraging and even demoralizing if we have attached our self-worth to pleasing someone else or attaining a certain accomplishment, position, etc.

We are created with the ability to choose.  In Deut 30:19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

Acts 16:30-31  30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved…..

Colossians 3:12   Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

There is an implication of choice in these verses, so the first and most important and personally beneficial choice that we can make is for Christ and future choices involve our being obedient to Him.  Then we will be blessed.  We may suffer along the way as did Jesus, but we will be blessed from a spiritual perspective for sure.

Heb 11:6 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

We don’t often pay enough attention to the last part of that verse.  We will be better able to act out our faith when we know that there is reward coming (again, it may not be as the world would define reward).  Revelation was largely to encourage Christians being persecuted by letting them know that God will win in the end and his children will celebrate in that victory.

Another word for esteem is appreciation.  When we are able to appreciate what is our self-worth we are more likely to purposefully use it to make choices and refuse to live life on auto-pilot; therefore, we will have a better sense of ourselves in light of our relationship with Jesus.

Human beings are valuable to themselves in that they have the ability and responsibility to make choices that have the potential to benefit them. (No one else can make choices for you; therefore, this ability and responsibility cannot be measured or compared to other people.)


March 2009, the News Star reported that in Alexandria at Bolton High School, a couple of paintings which had been given to the school by the graduating class of 1917 sometime in the 1960’s and had been hanging in the Library for decades were noticed by someone who then suggested that they have them appraised.  These were paintings by Ellsworth Woodward who at one time was an instructor at Tulane at the turn of the 20th century.  These paintings were appraised for $150K each.  Now the question is – were the paintings worth anything less from one day before to the day after they were appraised/ was there any material difference in the paintings from one day to the next? Or were they just more appreciated after the appraisal.  They were esteemed more highly when someone recognized their worth.

Men, we need to recognize that our self-worth is not in the validation of others or our next accomplishment, but in our continual ability to make choices that have the potential to benefit us.

The continuous process is:

1. Love and Trust God
   
   
2. Prayerfully take stock of your present situation
   
   
3. Make a choice in obedience and faith and you will be rewarded – the more you purposefully use your self-worth, the more you will appreciate it.
   
   

Today, Men, I am calling on you to recognize your inherent worth given to you by the Creator of the Universe.  Regardless of your past, regardless of your present circumstances, you are being called upon this day to choose Christ and obedience and seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (provisions or needs) will be added unto us (Matt 6:33).

And maybe this isn’t just for men!

There are many points of transition that come along in our lives.  Some are welcome where some not so much so!  Some we initiate where some just come our way.  In any case, transitions are inevitable.

That first day of school. Changing schools.  Getting a new teacher.  Moving to another town. Falling and breaking an arm.  Going to Middle School.  Getting into a club or organization where you may not know many people.  Trying out for a sports team – getting chosen, not getting chosen.  Going to High School.  Having a girlfriend or boyfriend – then losing a girlfriend or boyfriend.  Having a friend move away.  Grandparent dies.  Being elected as Class President or Captain of your team.  Going to college.  Getting a job.  Getting married.  Having children.  Losing a job.  Going back to school.  Getting another job.  Having grandchildren.  Retiring.

Life is full of transition!  This is a point of transition in my life where I am leaving state service where I have worked for over 31 years and now am planning to concentrate on my private practice.  I will officially begin that journey January 6, 2014.  It is not without some pain that I make this decision, but it is with great enthusiasm and anticipation (see blog of 12/24/12) that I make this transition – and I do see it more as a transition than “retirement”!  The timing finally seems right.

We can fight changes in our life or we can address them with the confidence that no matter our circumstance that we will survive and may even learn something along the way.  It largely depends on our attitude.  Use your self-worth (see blog of 06/03/12).  Consider your situation and make a choice with the knowledge that you can always make another, if things do not go as planned (see blog of 07/04/13).  Accepting that not every aspect may be to your liking will go a long way, but count your blessings.  You will feel better!

Today is Christmas Day and I write this as I await everyone else in the house to awake.  The timing was right for Jesus’ birth and what a transition that was for Mary and Joseph, but more importantly, the world.  The impact of His birth continues throughout history bringing peace and goodwill to mankind.  The World needed a Savior, He is Christ the Lord.  Glory and thanks be to God!

1.  God loves us
2.  He sent his son for us (John 3:16)
3.  He has placed a motivation within us to seek him (Genesis 1:27, 1 John 4:19)
4.  He has given us a will to choose (Deuteronomy 30:19)
5.  If we will repent, believe on him, he is faithful to forgive us (1 John 1:9)
6.  Although there is suffering in this life, we can have joy as he works all things together for our good even when we have trouble seeing it at the moment (Romans 8:28)
7.  He has ultimately won the victory and his children will reign with him in eternity (1 Corinthians 15:57)
8.  He expects us to deny ourselves, trust him, receive his grace and follow him in obedience (Luke 9:23, Proverbs 3:5-6, Acts 16:31, Ephesians 2:8-10)
9.  He wants us to love Him and love one another (Deuteronomy 30:15-17, Mark 12:30, John 13:34)

Last year I vowed to pray more and keep my eyes open for miracles that tend to go on around us.  There is so much hatred, evil and misfortune that exists that it is often easy to miss the miracles that still take place.  This year I have witnessed examples of God’s work in my life through several different events and have heard witness of people being healed of cancer and other illnesses, seen  random acts of kindness and spontaneous heroic acts.  I have seen people get over emotional oppression and others mend  relationships.  I wish I could say that this was true of everyone, but even in the face of misfortune continuing to exist, the goodness of life needs to be recognized and celebrated. 
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
I do not understand why God allows some of what goes on in this earth, but my plan is to continue into 2013 to pray more and be even more diligent in seeing the goodness/ miracles of life while I do my best to be part of the solution, an encourager and holder of hope. Happy New Year!

There are all kinds of things that we tend to anticipate: vacations, the weekend, buying that new car, graduation, family reunion, promotion, latest version of cell phone (or other tech device), release of movies, etc.  The birth of a baby is one of those events that is  highly anticipated.  It is the birth of baby that is reason we celebrate Christmas – the birth of a baby some 2000 years ago.  I was reminded of this recently while reading the first two chapters of Luke – it really was the natural rotation of my Bible reading.

There were many examples of anticipation surrounding the birth of Jesus.  Zechariah and Elizabeth were anticipating the birth of their baby – later to be named John.  Due to Zechariah’s lack of belief, he was mute for several months while the pregnancy progressed, so he likely also anticipated being able to speak again!  (Presently, I am anticipating being able to walk and swing a golf club again – my back went out two days ago while visiting with family – major interruption of Christmas vacation!)  Next Mary and Joseph anticipated
the birth of their baby –Jesus.
 
These parents were not the only ones expectantly waiting, however.  The Hebrew people were waiting for a Savior, the Messiah. There were some now famous shepherds who so anticipated seeing this Messiah, that they traveled into Bethlehem at the announcement of an
angel to see Him. There was a man in Jerusalem named Simeon who had been promised not to die before he saw the Messiah and had prophetic words to express to the parents which likely only heightened their anticipationof the future of their son.

Today, we can anticipate the work of Jesus through the Holy Spirit in our lives and what purposes he has for us.  In this New Year, let’s anticipate what God will do as we trust that he indeed cares for us.  Let’s experience Him in a fresh way in 2013 while we anticipate His return.