It is not necessary, however, to wait to have your own emotions PERFECTLY under control before you do everything you can to make your relationship successful. None of us are perfectly managed ourselves! When there is conflict or a strong negative emotional reaction within you related to your relationship, first check your own attitude. You will come out ahead if you take the high road and treat your partner with loving kindness regardless of how you think they treated you.
1 Thessalonians 5:15
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Principle: “Perception” does not equal “truth”. It may be truth to you, but it is not necessarily an objective, snapshot of reality.
Just because you "see" things a certain way does not mean that is exactly how it is and it certainly does not mean that is how your partner "sees" it or intended it. We tend to interpret events based upon our beliefs, experiences and predispositions. We would do well to question and challenge those interpretations when they do not serve our best interests in the long run.
Principle: The happiest couples are those that are made up of two emotionally healthy individuals who elect to share their lives together.
If you are going to be sharing your life with someone, it pays to be kind!