​Unconditional Self-Acceptance vs Arrogant Superiority

Narcissism has been talked about a great deal in recent years. No one aspires to narcissism. Finding the balance or sweet spot of self-acceptance without being either narcissistic or self-deprecating can be a challenging process.

​Let’s face it, none of us is fully competent and adequate in all things and at all times. When we fail at something or even many things, we can conclude that we are worthless when it simply means we are not thoroughly competent in all things.  We do best when we are able to rely on one another and interact interdependently so our various skills can be pooled. Social-interest involves living morally and protecting/ respecting rights of others which is useful in reaching more of our own goals. Stepping on others or looking down on others will backfire on us in the long run; so, self-interest and social-interest are compatible.

So how might we arrive at that unconditional self-acceptance? Recognizing that we are fallible human beings and yet have a built-in, God-given ability and responsibility to make choices that have the potential to benefit us (my definition of self-worth). From a spiritual perspective, making a choice for Jesus is the most important decision one can make. All other choices have to do with obedience to Him. It is in relationship to Jesus that we can fully and unconditionally accept ourselves as there is no condemnation in Jesus and an abundance of grace/ forgiveness to cover our fallibility.

March 21, 2021, our Pastor, Michael Wood, proposed some questions that can help us know when we are living in humble submission and in total reliance on God:

1. Is this what God would have for me and am I leaning on Him vs my own understanding?
2. How does this decision line up with God’s Word, the Bible?
3. How does this decision position me to “See To It” that no one misses the grace of God?
4. In seasons of difficulty, am I trusting my ability to get out of it or am I depending on God to get me out (in His time and way)?

When we recognize that we are fallible humans who are loved by God we can accept ourselves while humbly relying on Him to direct us in our decision making without thinking too much of ourselves or too little of ourselves. If we treat others similarly as fallible humans loved by God, we will be more inclined to treat others well (a reflection of our love for God) which helps us all get along better in this life.

Psalm 139: 13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.