Generally, people are motivated by a “what’s in it for us” attitude which means that in order for us to make changes in our lives, whether that it to stop a behavior or to pursue a behavior, a connection/ awareness of potential benefits is critical.  All too often we are aware of the short-term benefits and less aware of the long-term benefits.  Short-term benefits can over time lead to increased problems or at least a shallow or hollow result – an example might be spending money outside one’s budget on routine basis in order to satisfy a variety of desires where there is immediate gratification, but over time debt overshadows that gratification and results in financial stress.

Motivation does not have to be something provided by someone or something outside ourselves and one’s poor behavior or dissatisfaction in life is not the result of someone else failing to provide motivation.  When motivation is viewed in this manner, such as one who is waiting for a raise at work in order to be motivated to do a good job or one who is waiting for their spouse to act a certain way before making efforts to love well, it can become an excuse for poor behavior placing the responsibility on others.  Indeed, external factors do often provide motivators for people, but these motivators are generally temporal.  Increased income, for instance, may be a motivator; but, generally that motivation dissipates rather quickly once obtained.

Motivation is not something that one has to wait on to show up.  Exploring what is important in life and making decisions about values is an evolutionary process as people experience life with their eyes wide open.  In other words, as people experience life on purpose, they tend to refine and revise their beliefs/ values as they collect information and understanding and try out ideas.  This is the maturation process in action.  Too often people live on automatic pilot just doing what others expect, rebelling against what others expect or just doing what they have always done.  This tends to result in a general dissatisfaction and disillusionment with that pursuit of happiness.  The more one behaves in keeping with their chosen values, the more in sync with themselves they feel.  People who are feeling out of sync with themselves often have not understood the power they have to make those value choices and to continually evaluate the long-term benefits. When one lives with the attitude that the world and others must anticipate and then provide desires and goals (that may not have even been fully acknowledged or articulated) they set themselves up for continual disappointment.

If you are feeling somewhat unmotivated, this is a great time of the year to make some decisions to evaluate/ re-evaluate your beliefs/ values and make some choices about how you might live those out in the coming year.  Ask what is important to me?  If you have trouble identifying those, you might do a Google search on values and beliefs to spark some thoughts.  Ask others you admire about their values and what serves as motivators for them.  Try some things out and approach this self-discovery as an interesting journey/ quest with the long-term goal of finding greater satisfaction and meaning in life.