Generally, people are motivated by a “what’s in it for us” attitude which means that in order for us to make changes in our lives, whether that it to stop a behavior or to pursue a behavior, a connection/ awareness of potential benefits is critical.  All too often we are aware of the short-term benefits and less aware of the long-term benefits.  Short-term benefits can over time lead to increased problems or at least a shallow or hollow result – an example might be spending money outside one’s budget on routine basis in order to satisfy a variety of desires where there is immediate gratification, but over time debt overshadows that gratification and results in financial stress.

Motivation does not have to be something provided by someone or something outside ourselves and one’s poor behavior or dissatisfaction in life is not the result of someone else failing to provide motivation.  When motivation is viewed in this manner, such as one who is waiting for a raise at work in order to be motivated to do a good job or one who is waiting for their spouse to act a certain way before making efforts to love well, it can become an excuse for poor behavior placing the responsibility on others.  Indeed, external factors do often provide motivators for people, but these motivators are generally temporal.  Increased income, for instance, may be a motivator; but, generally that motivation dissipates rather quickly once obtained.

Motivation is not something that one has to wait on to show up.  Exploring what is important in life and making decisions about values is an evolutionary process as people experience life with their eyes wide open.  In other words, as people experience life on purpose, they tend to refine and revise their beliefs/ values as they collect information and understanding and try out ideas.  This is the maturation process in action.  Too often people live on automatic pilot just doing what others expect, rebelling against what others expect or just doing what they have always done.  This tends to result in a general dissatisfaction and disillusionment with that pursuit of happiness.  The more one behaves in keeping with their chosen values, the more in sync with themselves they feel.  People who are feeling out of sync with themselves often have not understood the power they have to make those value choices and to continually evaluate the long-term benefits. When one lives with the attitude that the world and others must anticipate and then provide desires and goals (that may not have even been fully acknowledged or articulated) they set themselves up for continual disappointment.

If you are feeling somewhat unmotivated, this is a great time of the year to make some decisions to evaluate/ re-evaluate your beliefs/ values and make some choices about how you might live those out in the coming year.  Ask what is important to me?  If you have trouble identifying those, you might do a Google search on values and beliefs to spark some thoughts.  Ask others you admire about their values and what serves as motivators for them.  Try some things out and approach this self-discovery as an interesting journey/ quest with the long-term goal of finding greater satisfaction and meaning in life.

Last year I vowed to pray more and keep my eyes open for miracles that tend to go on around us.  There is so much hatred, evil and misfortune that exists that it is often easy to miss the miracles that still take place.  This year I have witnessed examples of God’s work in my life through several different events and have heard witness of people being healed of cancer and other illnesses, seen  random acts of kindness and spontaneous heroic acts.  I have seen people get over emotional oppression and others mend  relationships.  I wish I could say that this was true of everyone, but even in the face of misfortune continuing to exist, the goodness of life needs to be recognized and celebrated. 
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
I do not understand why God allows some of what goes on in this earth, but my plan is to continue into 2013 to pray more and be even more diligent in seeing the goodness/ miracles of life while I do my best to be part of the solution, an encourager and holder of hope. Happy New Year!

There are all kinds of things that we tend to anticipate: vacations, the weekend, buying that new car, graduation, family reunion, promotion, latest version of cell phone (or other tech device), release of movies, etc.  The birth of a baby is one of those events that is  highly anticipated.  It is the birth of baby that is reason we celebrate Christmas – the birth of a baby some 2000 years ago.  I was reminded of this recently while reading the first two chapters of Luke – it really was the natural rotation of my Bible reading.

There were many examples of anticipation surrounding the birth of Jesus.  Zechariah and Elizabeth were anticipating the birth of their baby – later to be named John.  Due to Zechariah’s lack of belief, he was mute for several months while the pregnancy progressed, so he likely also anticipated being able to speak again!  (Presently, I am anticipating being able to walk and swing a golf club again – my back went out two days ago while visiting with family – major interruption of Christmas vacation!)  Next Mary and Joseph anticipated
the birth of their baby –Jesus.
 
These parents were not the only ones expectantly waiting, however.  The Hebrew people were waiting for a Savior, the Messiah. There were some now famous shepherds who so anticipated seeing this Messiah, that they traveled into Bethlehem at the announcement of an
angel to see Him. There was a man in Jerusalem named Simeon who had been promised not to die before he saw the Messiah and had prophetic words to express to the parents which likely only heightened their anticipationof the future of their son.

Today, we can anticipate the work of Jesus through the Holy Spirit in our lives and what purposes he has for us.  In this New Year, let’s anticipate what God will do as we trust that he indeed cares for us.  Let’s experience Him in a fresh way in 2013 while we anticipate His return.

Most recently, the sermon series at our church was centered on the word, “anticipate”.  At first, I found it hard to relate until I noticed that I had used the word several times in conversation and I began thinking about the New Year.  Generally, this time of year I take personal inventory and begin to think about goals I want to reach and activities in which I want to engage in the coming year. Well, I was doing it –
Anticipating!
Anticipation can keep us going.  That hope and expectancy can power us on to life and happiness in spite of what unfortunate things go on around us.  There have been some rather rotten things (to say the least) that have gone on in our country recently (shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School) and we have a choice as to how to respond.  I choose to be all the more determined to be a catalyst and conduit for good and an advocate for hope and positive expectancy.  I will hug those closest to me and tell them “I love them” while I can.
It is the Spirit of Christmas that will enable us to maintain that attitude of blessing and hopeful anticipation.  Those of us who are celebrating the birth of Jesus at this time of year are anticipating what blessings and wonder He might demonstrate next.
I know that all things are not good, but let’s allow that to be an even stronger motivator for us to be instruments of good in the world –others need us to understand, listen, carry the hope and point them to the One who is the answer to our need – the real reason for the
season.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

We often tell our children this lie in an attempt to soften the hurt when someone has spoken cutting words about them.  We may even have attempted to believe it ourselves when someone has spoken ill of us. But, we don’t do our children or ourselves any favors by trying to turn bad behavior into good or even neutral. At least one of the reasons we would do well to own up to the truth that it hurts when people speak venom concerning us is that we may then also believe that it is okay for us to speak venom against others, because after all words don’t really mean anything.

Words are, of course, important as they represent concepts, thoughts, emotions, intentions, etc. Although, I would be the first to defend
that it is up to us individually and personally to determine/ choose what we believe, how we interpret even the nastiest of things said of us and how we then respond; it hurts and hurts badly when we are disrespected, talked down to, ridiculed, teased, made fun of, put down, called names, and criticized.

If words can be so hurtful, they can also be very healing.   You probably can think of a time when someone said something particularly nice or complimentary when they did not have to and remember how good that felt. Again I will say that what others think is just that – what others think.  It is not the basis of our self-worth or even necessarily an accurate representation of our performance.  However, kind words and validating comments do feel good and can be motivating and add to our general sense of well-being, because we do tend to want to be accepted and appreciated by others.

So, where is this going, you might be wondering?  We need to think of this from the angle that we can influence and that is how we treat other people.  Why don’t you choose to say something kind, validating, uplifting, complimentary, loving, appreciative, or affirming to those you meet and especially those with whom you live?  You will be glad you did!

Andy Roddick is former No. 1 professional tennis player who retired recently after his 2012 participation in the US Open.  Depending on the perspective, his career can be perceived to be lacking in that he only won one Grand Slam tournament in his career – the 2003 US Open at the age of 21.  On the other hand, how many people in professional tennis ever make it to No. 1?  The percentages are  poor.  Not everyone can be the top ranked in their particular area in life and when they do reach that level, they may not stay there long.  Roddick was No. 1 from the end of 2003 to beginning of 2004 – a relative brief time, but the point is that he was still wildly successful. He is only 30 years old and has many opportunities to continue to be
successful, including the good his foundation is doing to help children in need with quality education.

Often we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others and put ourselves down:
“Look at the books he/she has written.”
“Wow! Everything he/she touches just turns to gold.”
“They have such a fine car or house.”
“She just got a huge promotion.”

Our standard is not other people.  God created all of us as unique human beings with gifts and attributes as He chose. It is up to us to use those, in cooperation with Him, to serve and honor the one who gave.  Colossians 3:23-24  Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

You are the only “you”.  You are unique.  Be the best “you” you can be.  No one else can do what we were created to do, if they are doing what they were created to do!  So, keep your head up, refrain from comparing yourself to others and look for ways you can serve and honor the Lord with the gifts He has given you.

Yesterday, I was blessed by someone who unexpectantly paid for my lunch!  What a surprise when the waitress informed me that mine was paid.  What a great way to brighten someone's day!  There is something about reaching out to bless someone that tends to result in a blessing for the giver, as well.  Hey, don't get me wrong - it was sure nice to be on the receiving end yesterday!

As a therapist, it is with some frequency that I recommend that people attempt to find ways to add value to the lives of others knowing that they will find a blessing in it.  Isn't it interesting, however, that the ones who tend to receive the biggest blessing are those who are not looking for one?  As you know from my last blog about self-worth, being on the positive end of external events is about what you are worth to others and not much of anything about self-worth.  Since we generally like being valuable to others, random acts of kinidness can be a marvelous way for us to do just that.
Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Matthew 22:38-408 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

It is very easy to become self-absorbed, but we would do a wise thing to think of ways to be a blessing to those around us. We will find that our own issues seem much less when we rech out to our fellow travelers in this world and theirs may seem more manageable, too.  88.7 The Cross radio station has been encouraging Random Acts of Kindness and even has little cards that can be passed on to someone you wish to bless (http://kbmq/org).  Bless someone today with a kind word, a smile, a helping hand, or even lunch!  Let's make our little section of the world a better place.

What a great job by The Extra Mile staff and the Regional Advisory Council members did February 9th!  Thanks to all the speakers who took there time to assist in this endeavour.  About 400 people spent the day to further educate themselves as to signs, symptoms, community resources and actions to help our community be a  safer place and supportive of life.

No matter the circumstances there is always HOPE.  LIFE has intrensic value.  We are a very individualistic society, but we all desire some level of connectedness - so, let's be aware of those around us and reach out to encourage each other and support one another so we might all realize more of our potential.  Maybe we are not responsible FOR each other's actions, but we as a moral/ civilized society are responsible TO one another.  Do what you can do to make our community more of where we want to live.  It takes us all.