We frequently confuse these three concepts by treating them as they are one. We have a tendency to desire significance therefore we seek benchmarks which may come from several different directions (parents, friends, work setting, etc.). These various sources seem to frequently speak to "what we are worth to others" more often than not. Accomplishments and praise are indicators of how we are valuable (another word for "worth") to others, but have nothing to do with self-worth - how we are valuable to ourselves.
It would be nice for us to somehow avoid totally the rating of ourselves, but I find people have a hard time doing that without some explanation of the difference in how we are valuable to ourselves and how we are valuable to others. We often make the erroneous conclusion that they are the same and if we fail to accomplish as much as our neighbor or fail to garner the praise from significant others in our lives; then we conclude that we are have little to no self-worth to the detriment of our wellbeing as these desires are totally dependent upon the degree someone else values us and/or what we can do or cannot do that is valuable to them. Therefore, it is very important for people to make this distinction.
Human beings are valuable to themselves in that they have the ability and responsibility to make choices that have the potential to
benefit them. (No one else can make choices for you; therefore, this ability and responsibility cannot be measured or compared to other people. It is one's own responsibility.)
We generally use "self-esteem" interchangeably with "self-worth" but to esteem something means that there is an appreciation, a recognition of the value. Not being a jeweler, I cannot fully appreciate the value of precious stones. Not being an artist, I cannot fully appreciate the value of art. We watch television shows like Storage Wars, Pickers and Pawn Stars and see that there are times people simply had no idea how valuable items were that they had. The value is there; it just was not previously recognized. When people are asked to stop rating themselves and only rate their behavior, they have a hard time separating the behavior from themselves; thus, end up rating themselves. With this distinction I am attempting to make in these three concepts, I have found people much more able to see the difference and know that no matter what their circumstances; they are able to make choices that have the potential to benefit them. This is empowering. They are more easily able to reject the labels that they and others have assigned them.
The more one intentionally and purposefully uses their self-worth, the more they will come to appreciate it; thus, increasing their self-esteem!
In no way do I want to down play being valuable to others, because most of us have a desire to be valuable to others; but let's not confuse that with how we are valuable to ourselves. We can do for others and do for others and they still chose to reject or negatively label us.
I welcome comments or questions! This may be different than you have thought about it before, but give this perspective a try and see what you think.
It would be nice for us to somehow avoid totally the rating of ourselves, but I find people have a hard time doing that without some explanation of the difference in how we are valuable to ourselves and how we are valuable to others. We often make the erroneous conclusion that they are the same and if we fail to accomplish as much as our neighbor or fail to garner the praise from significant others in our lives; then we conclude that we are have little to no self-worth to the detriment of our wellbeing as these desires are totally dependent upon the degree someone else values us and/or what we can do or cannot do that is valuable to them. Therefore, it is very important for people to make this distinction.
Human beings are valuable to themselves in that they have the ability and responsibility to make choices that have the potential to
benefit them. (No one else can make choices for you; therefore, this ability and responsibility cannot be measured or compared to other people. It is one's own responsibility.)
We generally use "self-esteem" interchangeably with "self-worth" but to esteem something means that there is an appreciation, a recognition of the value. Not being a jeweler, I cannot fully appreciate the value of precious stones. Not being an artist, I cannot fully appreciate the value of art. We watch television shows like Storage Wars, Pickers and Pawn Stars and see that there are times people simply had no idea how valuable items were that they had. The value is there; it just was not previously recognized. When people are asked to stop rating themselves and only rate their behavior, they have a hard time separating the behavior from themselves; thus, end up rating themselves. With this distinction I am attempting to make in these three concepts, I have found people much more able to see the difference and know that no matter what their circumstances; they are able to make choices that have the potential to benefit them. This is empowering. They are more easily able to reject the labels that they and others have assigned them.
The more one intentionally and purposefully uses their self-worth, the more they will come to appreciate it; thus, increasing their self-esteem!
In no way do I want to down play being valuable to others, because most of us have a desire to be valuable to others; but let's not confuse that with how we are valuable to ourselves. We can do for others and do for others and they still chose to reject or negatively label us.
I welcome comments or questions! This may be different than you have thought about it before, but give this perspective a try and see what you think.
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