Mark S. DeBord, LCSW, LLC
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Perfectionism

12/4/2011

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Most of us know that being perfect really is not possible, because we humans do not even live up to our own standards on a consistent basis.  At the same time we often tend to blame ourselves severely when we engage in certain undesireable behaviors.  We may even determine that we are worthless or deserve to suffer.  This line of thinking leads us no where good!  None of us are different in that we are all imperfect.  We do well to give up the idea that perfection is something that can be obtained while we are here on this earth and learn to forgive ourselves.  We forgive ourselves by (1) relieving ourselves of punishment, (2) accepting the pain of remorse; (3) learning from the experience; and (4) making another choice pursuing our goals.

The gift of forgiveness allows us to maintain motivation to continue striving for improving our life, behavior and circumstances; but let's not confuse self-improvement with perfection.  I find that changing our thinking to allow ourself "self-acceptance" in spite of our failings is a much more powerful position in terms of our experiencing competence and general satisfaction in life.  Just because we all have failings, we never become "FAILURES".  This line of thinking is supported by Christian belief in a benevolent, loving God who forgives and forgives and forgives.  While we may miss out on the benefits of more effective behaviors, making mistakes do not disqualify us from the race or keep God from loving us.
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