Mark S. DeBord, LCSW, LLC
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Sharing Hopes, Dreams, Insecurities, Fears, etc.

3/17/2012

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If you have been following this blog, you will recall that we have discussed
  • Sharing new information
  • expressing appreciation
  • expressing affection
  • solving puzzles
  • making complaints
all of which make for a foundation of connection where there is safety in sharing the most intimate of thoughts, emotions, desires, musings, insecurities and fears.  Where as  the first three in the list above need to be purposefully practiced daily, puzzles will be on an ad hoc basis, and complaints reserved for major issues; this last skill will be likely the least frequent yet nonetheless important.
Since there is risk of ridicule, rejection and loss of respect; safety is necessary to feel free to share fears and insecurities.  The truth is we all have them and we are much better able to face them when we have the support of our closest companion, our spouse.  However, take care not to overly emphasize this aspect of this intimacy skill; but have an attitude of perseverance and triumph as you also take time to discuss your hopes and dreams.  I find this to be most satisfying over a cup (or two) of coffee sitting in bed early in the morning (with the TV off) before the rest of the household wakes or even better when on vacation and we are relaxed and can be unencumbered by the routine.
If you have not thought about this in a while, take some time to get out of the rut and think about new adventures in life and don't forget to express the love and appreciation and excited expectancy you have in sharing this with your partner.
Jesus said, "I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly."  John 10:10b
Let's dream big while we pay attention to the everyday miracles and wonders that go on around us all the time.
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